Well April is half over
and I am at last remembering to do a post here, what has happened
this month so far well Dawson turned 17 on the first of the month and
Tyler turned 22 last Friday but what else let me think.
Ok the first school
term came to an end along with daylight savings, we have had Blain
for the first week of the school holidays and he will be with his dad
for the second week and then just as school goes back he will be
going with his dad and Kelli to Queensland for a week for Kirsty's
wedding.
Yes Kirsty is getting
married to Jacob, I will not be going as we were not invited she had
to keep numbers down due to cost, I however, will be dog sitting for
Dave while he and Leigh go to the wedding they are going in mum &
dad's place as dad isn't well enough to make such a trip. There is no
way dad could drive that far and mum isn't up to driving long
distances either in fact I think too many hours in a car would be bad
for dad.
We have had some
problems with Blain & Leo and attitude and lying Blain has
attitude and Leo still has a lying problem although both boys are
improving slowly. Natasha has laid down the law to both of them and
has in fact lost it with them both a few times in the last few weeks
due to the attitude we have from them.
Also just before school
broke up there was a problem with Leo getting bullied by some of
Blain's friends they pulled his legs out from under him causing him
to fall backwards and hit his head on the cement this happened
because Leo had called one of the friends names a few weeks before
hand and the kid wanted to get back at Leo. Blain did nothing to
help his cousin because he said he was scared they would hurt him if
he tried to stop them. So we have told Leo he isn't allow to go to
Blain's friends place in the afternoon after school. I was so
annoyed by the whole thing with Leo that I contacted the school via
Facebook and the principal said she would ring me but I am still
waiting when school goes back I will go to the school and speak to
her.
Oddly enough during the
last week of the school holidays Blain has only been to his friends
place once he has just not been interested in going to hang out with
them.
Dad's health isn't that
good mum worries about him a lot he spends so much of the night
coughing and that keeps him awake and at times keeps mum awake.
I am worried about Tim
as he is so angry a lot lately and yesterday Natasha and I had a talk
to him telling him that we believe he is depressed, he wanted to know
why we thought that and we told him he is always thinking negative
thoughts and when we say something to him he hears negative stuff and
thinks he doesn't matter and doesn't want to be around the family as
he feels he is always the bad guy always in the wrong and never happy
he says he can't see the point in being happy. He takes everything
personally and always things we are attacking him and putting him
down and never support him in anything.
Now about me I saw the
specialist again about my tremor still no answers on a different
medication which hasn't done much as yet but I have increased it
again to 1 full tablet twice a day and we will see how that helps, as
I write this my right thigh is shaking a lot that has been happening
a lot more lately.
Walking is some days ok
some days not ok, some days I really struggle with the balance and
the back pain shooting through my back and I am often so very
exhausted by the time I get home but I an sticking with it as it is
suppose to be good for ones health.
My blood glucose levels
are not the best but often that is because I am eating and drinking
the wrong stuff I know it and it is something I have to change and I
will but right now it is a struggle. I do not want to see anyone or
talk to anyone about it because I don't I can't give a reason why I
just don't.
There are days when I
feel life is a struggle, I do worry about my tremor and balance
problems, I worry about becoming a burden to my family, I have good
days and bad days sometimes there seems to be more bad days then good
days which is upsetting.
That said I am glad
that I have Natasha and Blain living here and that I see my other
daughters and grandchildren as much as I do, I love having Leo around
a lot they make living good, it is for them that I keep trying.
Granted I don't want
them to know how bad some days are and some might wonder why I would
write about how bad it can be here but guess what they don't read
this so they will not know.
