19 June, 2020
03 June, 2020
Frustration
It must be hard not
knowing what to when you see me crying and suffering with pain and
frustration day in and day out, I know there is nothing anyone can do
to relieve the pain.
Sometimes all I need is
a hug and to hear you know how hard it I need nothing else.
Sometimes it is hard
and depressing to hear someone sigh or see a roll of the eyes when I
ask for help of some kind. I know no one means anything bad but it
does make me feel like I am being a nuisance or a burden.
Yes it is hard for me
struggling all day every day and I get it must be hard for everyone
to know this and and not know what to do for the best. I have no
answer for that.
If it was just the
tremor that would be bad enough but it's everything else, like the
pain in my right upper arm/shoulder area. This makes me cry in pain
and frustration and there isn't a damn thing you can do.
24 May, 2020
06 March, 2020
26 January, 2020
20 January, 2020
My health update
I am slowly learning to
live and accept my limitations there are more and more things that I
have trouble doing. I have things that help me cope, as in not get
as upset and depressed when things are not working and it's just not
easy.
There are days when I
struggle to prepare food to eat, some days I just like someone else
to either prepare the even a simple sandwich at times is hard. I
haven't tried to eat cereal in a long time and ya know I have been
feeling like corn flakes lately. Last winter I tried having soup,
that ended in tears and frustration.
I have taken to using a
bath board when I shower as I find the heat of a shower causes me to
become light headed and lose my balance. I prefer to have a bath but
with water restrictions I think a shower is better as I use less
water.
Getting dressed takes
me ages three times as long as having someone assist me, this is
because I break into a sweat often during the day and no it's not
menopause that I went through 14yrs ago. So often I am all clammy
and sticky, also this causes me to stink more. Some may think have a
cool shower but I can do that and be sitting on the bed drying off
and break into a sweat again.
I have to use a walker
when I go out but only if I have a small amount of walking to do,
if I have a lot of walking to do I need a wheelchair, or a motorised
scooter.
I cannot drive so have
to rely on someone to get me from point a to point b and home again,
I have had a few episodes of confusion and loss of balance. So the
girls do not want me to go shopping alone and honestly I think often
they are right.
I used to love to read
but find it hard to concentrate and can only manage a couple of
pages at a time, it is so frustrating.
Then there are my
bladder problems which is horrible and embarrassing but something I
have to deal with.
Is it any wonder I
feel depressed and like crying.
31 December, 2019
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